Hiding the Evidence
by Kitskune Miyake
Summary: Wally and Dick had sex. In the Batcave. When did that seem like a good idea? Now they have to clean up the evidence, with a little help from everyone's favorite butler, before the big bad Bat comes back. Will they get it done in time?


So this is like a month-belated birthday gift for one of my few IRL YJ friends. I'm sorry if it isn't quite what you wanted, but I was having way too much fun with the path I took. Happy birthday, Sav!

Disclaimer: I don't own YJ.

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"Best ever. Like, no contest. This was the best sex we've ever had."

"Shut up, Wally, you're ruining the moment." Dick snuggled closer to the redhead. "But yeah, probably the best."

Wally and Dick were pretty normal guys—beyond the homosexual teenage superheroes, that is. However, Dick's overbearing mentor-slash-adopted father made "hooking up" complicated; Boy Wonder wasn't helping either, what with the unnecessarily tight pants and random acrobatics. Watching him sometimes was like porn with clothes, but they both wanted more.

The two, though in their late teens, had only had sex three times. One was where the story started: in the Batcave, on a pile of blankets and capes; the other two had been in somewhat public places, because all "private" places the boys could get to were monitored by the Bat. Needless to say, sex in the park at the dead of night or at a sleepover at Roy's house isn't quite as intimate as the two boys wanted. Also goes without saying, but Roy hasn't let them back into his apartment either.

Wally wrapped his arms around Dick. "Mmm, you're so warm. Why do you keep this place so cold, anyways?" He pressed his face into the brunette's hair.

"Master Bruce has a liking to the cold. Keeps him alert and focused."

"Alfred!" Dick exclaimed. Quickly, he gathered as much of the cape material he could to his exposed crotch. "What're—how much—"

"No time for that Master Richard. Master Bruce and a select number of Leaguers are on their way within a matter of minutes." The furious blush drained from Dick's face, leaving him frighteningly pale. "You and Master Wallace, just head upstairs quickly. I'll attempt to cover for your…mess."

Wally scooped up Dick and zoomed out, instinctively finding his way back to Dick's room. "Holy crap!" he exclaimed as he unceremoniously dumped Dick onto the fluffy bed in his room. "Oh my God, how much of that did he see?"

Dick sat up, turning to his panicking friend. "Relax, Wally. Alfred's pretty cool about the whole LGBTQ stuff. Actually, he's the one who—"

"No, you're missing the point! _There are cameras down there_. How else d'you think he knew we were there?"

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Quickly, Alfred scooted the used blankets towards the side. From the meeting table, the pile would be blocked by Dick's R-cycle. He picked up the Robin costume, sighing and shaking his head, and threw it into one of the laundry chutes. He speed-walked over to yet another corner, running throughout the cave with a Febreeze can. In a way, the routine brought a slight grin to his face; Master Bruce hadn't been guilty of these…indiscretions since a few years ago.

The butler heard the distinct hum of the zeta tube. He headed over to the Batmobile, bending down and pretending to adjust the rims of the fabulous car. A robotic female voice announced the arrival of the major Leaguers: Batman, Superman, Wonder Woman, Green Lantern, Hawkmanand the Flash. Alfred sighed in relief, thinking that disaster had been averted once again.

"Ah, Batman. Shall I fetch some refreshments?"

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"Can't you hack it from a distance?" Wally complained to the younger boy, slowly approaching the hidden stairwell again. Both boys were wearing simple civilian wear; Wally had started stowing spare clothes in Dick's rooms as they started having more surprise sleepovers.

Dick looked over at his friend, his face obviously disappointed at the redhead's lack of common sense. "The cameras feed directly to the Batcomputer drive. Any screens around the house broadcast live, no hacking available. Well, I _could_ hack it, but I need my holocomp, which _you_ left down there. All my spares are down there too."

"What, no spare gauntlet in that old utility belt of yours?" Robin shot another look. "Right, Batcave. Is there anything we _didn't_ leave? Our dignity, perhaps?"

"Since when did you have dignity, Kid Unabashed?" Dick pulled one of the books from the library case, triggering the secret doorway. The two made their way down the steps, Wally pounding down the steps at a mildly fast pace. A few steps behind, Dick padded silently down the steps, careful to not echo too loudly. "Y'know, maybe you should just stay behind and let me get this."

Wally stopped suddenly and turned around, causing Dick to crash into him. "Fine," he whined quietly. He started back up the flight, a tad more wary about the sound he was making. Not that it mattered; someone probably heard Kid Mouth anyways.

At the bottom of the steps, Dick checked to see what the Leaguers were up to. He felt a hand come down on his shoulder, causing him to jump. He only barely contained the totally-not-girly shriek.

"Robin," Alfred whispered quietly, "your utility belt is by the R-cycle, but I have not yet found your holographic computer. It seems to have disappeared in the—ahem—heat of the moment." Dick flushed slightly. "Try retracing your steps." Before Robin could ask where to start, Alfred started the climb up the stairs.

_Okay, Dick_ he told himself _how did we get here?_

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_Wally grabbed him by the collar of his cape as soon as their atoms resumed their normal place. Their lips crushed together, and Dick yelped slightly in surprise. Hands quickly tangled into black hair as the two hurriedly came together. Dick stood slightly on his toes, and Wally bent slightly to meet him halfway. The height difference was awkward, but that didn't stop kissing from being fun. _

_They broke away for a moment, taking the time to breathe better and start stripping. There was absolutely no tease to it; there had been enough of that before they zeta'd in. (Lesson: Dick can keep a straight face when being groped, but Wally can't.) Cape strewn aside, boots thrown into some corner, gloves discarded…_

_Somewhere…_

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_Dammit, Dick!_ He closed his eyes and scrunched his face, as if that would allow him to remember better. It didn't work, but at least it distracted him from his rising blush at the memory. Quickly, he resorted to very Wally-esque methods: bouncing slightly, blowing stray hairs out of his face, tapping the wall. _Where did I freaking—_

"—review some footage from last night." A slight hum as the projection system booted up. Dick jumped and ran forward, praying to every higher power that none of the footage would appear in front of the League.

"Robin!" Superman called, seeing the boy standing off to the side. The other heroes turned, genuinely excited to see the young sidekick. Everybody loved Robin, and seeing him not beaten up made everybody's day. "How are you?" From where he stood by the computer, Batman narrowed his eyes slightly, a tad irked that the meeting had bee—

"My glove!" Robin exclaimed. He ran over to the Batcomputer, ducking under and picking up his holocomp gauntlet. "Sorry, Batman. Just…kinda got lazy after zeta-ing in." His eyes narrowed further. "Umm…I'll just leave…yeah." Awkwardly, the Boy Wonder shuffled away, all eyes on his retreating figure.

Batman continued his lecture on…whatever the hell he was talking about. It was clear though that the attention span of the JLA was slipping, so he paused for a break. He walked away with a swish of his cape, heading upstairs to see if Alfred's refreshments were done.

Superman leaned over to Wonder Woman. "Was it just me, or did he smell like—"

"No, I smelt it too." Her face twisted in disgust, and the two turned slightly to block out the others a bit better.

"No, it's not just that," he whispered back. He stopped and looked around, making sure a certain speedster wasn't listening in. Seeing as he was preoccupied with a pencil lightsaber battle with Hal Jordan, the Kryptonian continued. "I swear, I think I smelt a little bit of that West boy on him."

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"—And…done! I've cleared the system."

"Dude," Wally said, his voice full of awe. "We totally just got away with it. Now c'mere," he added sexily, pulling Dick into a hug. "We both need a shower, and I'd hate to go in alone."

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That could have been so much better...

Review?


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